Forlorn
by dsmldejection
Summary: Bella has never felt "right" anywhere. When she moves to Forks with her dad and a vampire, unbeknown to her, attacks and changes her, how will she handle it? When Edward finds her senile, will he be able to help her? Little gore suggested, I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

I had never felt very comfortable anywhere. The reason behind this strange trait had never occurred to me. To this day, I've yet to figure out that question's answer.

Certain things made me question my own sanity. I would picture strange and usually extremely gore filled scenes in my mind-- for instance, playing how I might kill myself over and over again in my head. They were the most gruesome ways possible, as a matter of fact. Things like, bleeding to death in various ways, and somehow acquiring a gun and shooting myself in the head. I never thought of myself as clinically depressed. I had just never expected myself to a full --or even happy-- life. Like anything I wanted, I could come within mere inches of, yet could never actually get. I've told no one about this, yet my family and few friends would commonly ask me whether or not I was, in fact, depressed.

I had always pictured depressed people as being sad all the time. Possibly even mad at times. I was never sad _all _of the time. Just, a bit on most days. But I felt like when I was low; I was about as low as a person could possibly get. As if I were in a pit that seemed to have no opening, and was darker and colder than anything comparable. I've only told one person in my life when I was contemplating suicide. And she accused me of being too "scared" to actually go through with it. If I really thought about it, she _was _actually right. But that's not something you tell a suicidal person. Iwould expect them to worry and be upset and try to stop me. But she just blew me off, claiming to "know" me too well. One short week later, we got in a pretty stupid fight. It had created an invisible barrier preventing us from talking again. So, what could _she _possibly know?

Living with only a mom had never been much of a problem with me. She needed me. I was ok with that. But at one point, I felt the overall need to live with my dad. If that would mean convicting myself to the lonely town of Forks, Washington, I was ok with _that_ as well. At any rate, now she had Phil to make sure she did the few things that were major on her daily agenda. So Forks was where I was headed.

My mom drove me to the airport. We didn't talk much, but I could tell she was unsure about the reason behind my unexpected trip. The flight, as expected, was grueling. I never liked having to sit still for long periods of time, so I found myself unconsciously tapping my fingers and feet in an obviously annoying manner-- as far as my fellow passengers were concerned. When we landed, I was relieved until I remembered the long drive to the actual town Forks, ahead with Charlie. Forks was actually so small, that it couldn't even _fit _an airport. How pathetic was that?

Okay, so Charlie. Charlie is the police chief of Forks. He and my mom separated when I was little, and I've spent my summers with him for as long as I could imagine. We had never really built up a relatively great relationship. We felt awkward and after a while, we had just learned to accept that.

I stepped off the plane and gave my dad a quick hug. We both knew I had never been fond of any displays of affection, so it didn't last long. When we got in the cruiser, the awkwardness began. Silence drifted among us for what seemed like hours. Then, he spoke.

"So, I got you a car.", he said shyly, not looking away from the road which was damp from the constant rain.

"Really? You know you didn't have to do that. I was planning on saving up my money and buying one myself." I was embarrassed to think of the time and thought he must have expended on my account. My heart sped up and my cheeks became hot and red.

When we finally got to Charlie's house, I saw my truck. And I loved it. And anyway, it was much better then being dragged around in a police cruiser.

I went up stairs to unpack. Charlie didn't hover, which I was grateful for. When I finished putting away my things in the old wood dresser, I stared out the window. It was dark, and it was raining, naturally. I placed my hand lightly against the glass and felt it's cool temperature. A violent shudder ripped through my body and a single, lonely tear slid down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and lay down to go to sleep. I had an... Interesting day tomorrow. High school.

I groaned as my alarm clock went through it's programmed annoying ritual. Rolling over, I smacked my hand on it's top. Crap, school. I forced myself up and went to take a shower. I stood there in the mist and let the hot water loosen my tight muscles. Too soon, the hot water ran out and the water turned arctic cold, so I reluctantly stepped out. I brushed my teeth at a moderate speed, clearly uneager for the day ahead. After the morning routine was complete, I went down stairs and grabbed a granola bar on my way out of the house.

When I got to school, I went to the front office to check in. I was given a sheet of paper to have all the teachers sign and have back at the end of the day. My classes were normal. People were nice. I found that I had a lot more fans here of the male variety than I had at my old school. Only a few of the teachers made me stand up and tell the class a bit about myself. I had never liked having to do that. What was there interesting about my life? My parents were separated. I was normal. No boyfriends. Few _friends_, at that. Somehow I conjured up a passable story and went to sit down time and time again.

When I got home from school, I was exhausted. From the combination of my lack of sleep, early rise, and annoying day, I was thoroughly fatigued. I went to bed and the cycle started again.

This went on for about a month. I would usually check my e-mails to make sure my mom hadn't thought I'd died. Hah, that _was _actually funny. It would be normal of her to jump to such an impossible conclusion. Everything was normal. As normal as they had ever been, and as far as I knew, were ever going to be.

W\M/W\M/W\M/W\M/W\M/W

Another normal, boring Sunday. Charlie was fishing. My homework was done. I was bored. I grabbed my raincoat on a momentary feeling of exploration. I climbed into the cab of my faithful truck and started it. I still jumped at the sound of it and that made me laugh darkly.

I drove out of town and noticed I didn't know where I was going. I pulled off onto a dirt road surrounded by trees on either side. When I came to the dead end of this road, I turned off the truck and jumped out. I walked towards the towering wall of thick trees. Curiosity overwhelmed me. I took one step into the mass and didn't trip. I smiled, noticing I was actually very proud of myself.

I walked for two long, tiresome miles and I found I wasn't at all worn out. This surprised me. Usually a mile ago I would have been huffing and mentally cursing myself for doing such a stupid thing. But I felt as though I could go further. So I did.

I walked for about another mile and then started to feel the effects of my long day. I found a relatively dry, large pine tree and sat down beside it. I toyed with the slightly damp grass for a while, uprooting chunks and decapitating others, all the while trying to catch my breath, and then I felt a peculiar feeling. As though I could actually _feel_ someone's eyes drilling a hole into the center of my back. But remembering I was in the middle of the vast northwestern forest, I doubted anyone was with me. Still, I couldn't shake the unusual feeling.

I saw a pale flash before my eyes. I looked around and saw nothing.

"What the--"

I was unable to finish my sentence with the hard, cold hand placed firmly over my mouth. My eyes widened and I tried to scream. Useless. The figure chuckled as I squirmed frantically and futilely trying to free myself. From the sound of it, I could assume my captor was a female. I strained my eyes to look behind me and I saw a strong, beautiful, and feminine hand, arm, and part of a body. She wore a plain black shirt and what looked like very baggy green cargo pants. Strange-- she seemed to have a very slender frame and yet she chose to cover it up.

In a blur, she spun me around and held me at an arms distance from her face, dangling in the air from her hand which had slyly moved itself from my mouth to my neck. I felt the air rush out of my lungs as this happened, and from the weight of my body all leaning on my neck held in her hand, I wasn't able to pull in more than an inward groan of pain.

She smiled and pulled me closer. She lessened the force on my neck and I pulled in as much air as my lungs would allow. In doing so, I noticed how amazing she smelled. Better than anything I had ever smelled and incomparable. She whispered into my ear something that at first was unintelligible. My thoughts were scrambled when I looked into her dark, menacing, and blood red irises. When I thought about it, the jumble sounded more and more like a warning.

"I shall change you. Dooming you to an ever so lonely life of night, never to be known, loved, or acknowledged." Her voice was alluring and terrifying all at once. It sounded more from a 1920's movie character than from a human from today. And when I said that in my mind, I decided something. This, whatever it was, could not be human.

And then, was when I felt her cool breath on my skin, and her sharp, wet teeth in the sweat covered layers of the skin of my neck.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so this is chapter two. As far as I can tell, you guys liked it... pretty much. I was hoping I would get more readers because of the combination of readers passing over it in curiosity, and the few fans I had managed to acquire from my first story. I guess people just don't understand how that makes me feel when I don't get many reviews. Oh well, I'd like to see where I can take this one, so I'm gonna keep going. I hope you like it!

-dsmldejection

_Flashback: __And then, was when I felt her cool breath on my skin, and her sharp, wet teeth in the sweat covered layers of the skin of my neck._

I could feel her hard, strong lips trying to suck as much blood from my frail body as possible. I was going to die. This, _thing_, wanted my blood and she wasn't going to stop until she got all of it. I tried to squirm, kicking her and clawing at her face. I wasn't doing a thing. I looked into her eyes and saw they were unbelievably _hungry. _But suddenly, she stopped. She pulled away and I could still see the hungry look in her eyes. And she ran away.

I tried to sit up and then I felt it. Pain. No, _fire_. I felt like I had liquid flames running through my system. How could this be happening? What could I have done to deserve this? I never talked to anyone enough to be mean and I had always kept up with my school work... How could this be my fate? I screamed for someone to help me. Please, help me.

This went on for an uninterpretable amount of days. After a while, I couldn't even tell if it was day or night. I lay on the ground, getting dirt in my hair and under my fingernails in an attempt to get the fire to go away. It rained and I welcomed the cool feeling on my burning skin. At one point, I started crying. I couldn't handle it. I tried to figure out how to kill myself, ease the pain of living. But when I tried to move, the feeling seemed to multiply until I decided it wouldn't even be worth it. And suddenly, it stopped.

There was no transition from pain to comfort. It just suddenly, ended. I sat up, dazed and tired. I looked around and noticed I had no idea where I was or how I had managed to get myself there. I looked up to the sky and found that it was raining. And I sat there for hours, and listened. I could hear everything. The rain hitting trees a mile in the distance. The rustle of squirrels as they ran for cover from the heavy downpour. I could feel an indescribable tickle in the back of my throat, so I stood up and started walking. I didn't know where or even why I was walking, I just knew I was going somewhere away from here.

I pushed through a thick vat of trees and suddenly I was starting at the mouth of my truck. Oh thank god, something familiar. I pulled on the handle and I pulled the door off the truck. It took me a few seconds to realize what I had just done. I stared at my hands and as soon as I looked up, I started running. I felt the wind rush past my face. I couldn't tell how fast I was going, but I knew it wasn't right. In a matter of minutes, I was standing on my doorstep. The cruiser was gone, so I figured Charlie must have gone to work. But it was _Sunday._ I very carefully opened the door to the house and managed to not tear it off. I looked around, and found the place was a mess.

"What the hell did he do?" I yelled, as I walked through the living room to the kitchen. "I've only been gone for--" I stopped as I looked at the clock next to the calendar. Wait a second, what date was it when I left? Okay, it was August 17 at like, noon. What day is it now?

I stared at the calendar. It was August 19.

"What the heck?" I looked down at the table and saw a newspaper clipping. It read:

_August 18, 2008- Daughter of Police Chief Reported Missing_

_Isabella Marie Swan was reported missing on August 17, 2008. Ms. Swan was the daughter of Police Chief Charles Swan. She was reported dead this morning at approximately twelve AM, regrettably by her father. She will have a funeral on August 19 even though her remains were never found. The ceremony will begin promptly at eight AM at the Forks cemetery. All are welcome._

But, I wasn't dead. I looked at the clock and saw it was 8:30. I ran up to the bathroom at the same stunning speed as before. I looked at my face in the mirror. I didn't even recognize who I was looking at. My skin was paper white, my hair was wavy and beautiful, and my eyes... My eyes were blood red. A flash of images ran past my eyes. I recognized the same wooded area I had woken up in this morning. And then, I saw her. I remembered. She had attacked me and left me to die. So, why wasn't I dead?

I didn't know why, but I felt like I couldn't be here. I ran up to my room and changed out of my wet clothes. I put everything back to where it was when I came and I left the house. I ran. I couldn't figure it out. What was wrong with me? I was running really, _really _fast. I kept feeling this same tickle in the back of my throat. Hell, I pulled the damn door off of my car! I didn't figure it out, so I kept running.

I ran through the woods and did my best to stay off of roads and away from cities. I mean, I was supposed to be dead. Wasn't I? I thought about that for a while, and then, I smelt it.

It was beautiful. The tickle in the back of my throat grew stronger and I started running faster. And then I saw something move. Mountain lion popped into my head. Yes, it was definitely a mountain lion. So sweet. Wait. Why did I know that?

And I lost it. I blacked out and when I came back to myself, I was standing over a four-foot long mountain lion. I screamed and broke down crying. But no tears fell. I felt the same feeling and then I started running again.

This time, I managed to keep from blacking out, but what I saw was horrifying. I spotted a black bear and chased it down. Behind it, were a male and four babies. I went for the male, knowing it would put up the most fight. I grabbed it by its neck and felt a sickening snap in my hands. It fell and I sank my teeth into its neck. I drained it, feeling the warm, sweet blood in my mouth.

I looked up from my meal and saw the mother nudging the babies to a tree. I ran at it and took it down in the same fashion. I drained it as well and then, I started slowly towards the cubs. I smiled an evil and hungry smile. And then, I took them down too. They didn't even put up a fight. I drank from them and they tasted even better than the parents did.

I felt so bad. What had I become? How could I have done that? I, I drank them. I just killed six bears and a mountain lion. I cried dry sobs and started running again. I would smell something every once and a while, and I would lose it and attack. At one point, I changed directions going back the way I had come trying to catch something, and I wound up about 10 miles from Forks. At the time, I didn't notice this. It had been 12 years as far as I could tell since I had been here and I thought nothing of it.

I stood up from a freshly drained fox, clearly bored. I had been depressed the entire 12 years I had been wandering. I hadn't talked to anyone and the only living things I ever saw were animals and they didn't live long enough to even take interest in me.

Slowly, I walked out from the wall of trees and stepped onto an empty, damp road. I shrugged my shoulders and started walking. I didn't see anyone until I walked up to a little house. I recognized it, but thought nothing of it. I walked up to the window and looked in. And I saw him.

"Charlie!" I yelled out.

He jumped and looked to the window. He stared, questioningly at me and I ran over to the front of the house. I was at Charlie's house! I ran into the living room and stood a few yards from him. I almost walked forward, but a few things stopped me.

First, I saw the look in Charlie's eyes. He was terrified. And second, I felt the tickle in the back of my throat. No. Not now, Why did I come here? I turned to leave, but he spoke.

"Bells? Is that really you? No, how could it be? You, you're dead. But, you're not!" He ran up to me and wrapped me in a huge hug.

That was all I needed. I lost it. No! I couldn't! It was Charlie! But I couldn't stop myself. I crouched in an attacking stance and circled him. He seemed more startled than confused and I smiled noticing this. I snarled and his eyes looked truly terrified. I pounced. I took him down and drank him. I came to myself and I looked into his eyes. They held the same terrified look as before I had lunged at him. I broke out in dry sobs. I killed Charlie! No! How could I? But, it tasted so good. So much better than my usual diet of bears and the occasional mountain lion. I wanted more. But I couldn't. I ran northeast for hundreds of miles. Soon, I found a clearing. I thought about it, and decided I didn't want to live anymore. First, I tried starving myself. I climbed into a tree and lay there for months. Nothing happened so I gave up and found a bear.

After finishing it off, I tried again to end my life. I climbed the same tree, about seven stories high, and I jumped. I landed on the ground with a loud, yet muted thud. I looked over myself and found I was completely unharmed. I found a strong, small branch and stabbed it at my arm. It snapped and I sat down, defeated.

I broke down again in dry sobs. I curled up into a tight ball and continued crying. Every once and a while, a curious animal would saunter up to me, dooming itself. I would attack it in the pure _need _for blood. But when I was finished, I would curl back up again and weep dry tears. At one point, I think I might have lost my mind. I started rocking back and forth, hoping I would just die and not have to feel like this anymore. This went on for years. I didn't even know what I had become before _he _found me. From that point on, my life was never the same.

A/N: Okay, yeah, I know. Very cliffy. Oh well, I'm tryin to get more readers. Anyway, did you like it? Let me know! Tell me it sucked! Tell me you loved it! I don't know why I'm updating so quickly, I just feel like I can write this story easier. Let me know what you think. Please. PLEASE! Review. I would really appreciate it.

Thanks guys!

-dsmldejection


	3. Author's Note: One of Few

A/N: Okay guys, I'm being nice and posting a few days early. This is in part because of socialxhazard for reasons I'm not even aware of, Musicalchick93 for dogging me until I wanted to chop her head off, and my aunt who's opinion I just want to hear so bad that it's killing me. But, within this gesture is a warning. If you don't review, I'm not going to update for either:

A) Forever. I'll keep writing, e-mail my friends and aunt the rest and you all will suffer because I'm just that mean. This is the most likely choice for the outcome of my severe rage. Look out.

-or-

B) Not update for a very, VERY long time. And I'm not talking a semi-life-threatening week or anything. I'm talkin' like, a month here. Maybe more. Heck, I'm leaving for a while this summer, I might not update until a week after I get back! But it's all up to you. Also, I want reviews with depth. No, it was great or anything like that. I want details! What did you like? Hate? Did my writing make you barf? If so, let me know about it! I like to hear about my writing's reactions! Please, I'm beggin' you here. Seriously.

I'll give you about an hour to process this. After that, I'll post the next and let you guys review. I'm nice. I respond to all of them. I thank you several times in each response. Heck, I look at your stories! Because I'm NICE! So treat me like I'm nice!

Thanks,

dsmldejection


	4. Chapter 3

When he found me, my behavior was nothing short of intolerable. He sauntered out from behind a thick area of trees. I sensed his presence and, letting my instincts take over, stood up in a challenging stance and growled. He took a short step back, obviously made as a signal that he was not a threat to me. I looked into his eyes and saw that they were like mine. Not the usual ominous scarlet color that my attacker had had, but a light shade of onyx. He looked into my eyes and we froze like that. It wasn't until I had long since forgotten my problems, that I thought to look him over.

He wore baggy jeans and a simple dark green button down shirt. These clothes, presumably normal for any human, looked amazing on him. His finely chiseled chest showed just barely under the ever so fragile cloth draping it. His honey blonde hair dropped casually over his beautiful face and seeing that, I once again lost myself in his eyes. When he spoke, I jumped but noticing this made me seem vulnerable, I regained my composure and went on glaring at him.

"Hello", he said simply. It was such a common greeting, but it held so much more meaning. "My name is Edward Cullen. I live with a coven of beings much like yourself. We too only feed on animals." How could he possibly know I fed on animals? He grew quiet and I felt myself longing for him to speak again.

"H-hello" I stuttered feebly. He smiled at my response and held his hand out to me. I stared at it for a moment, and then stood up, taking his hand carefully. We lost ourselves in another staring contest until dusk loomed overhead. I smiled as it started to rain and we walked together, much slower than even a human would normally.

When I realized that I was giving myself to someone I didn't even know, I stopped and looked at him, taking my hand back carefully and trying to figure how I should word some of my many questions. I started with one of the easiest.

"Where are you taking me?" I attempted, trying to keep my voice monotone. I had the slightest feeling that I had failed miserably at it.

"I was going to show you my family. That is, if you'd like to come. I completely understand if you'd rather not." His voice said different from his eyes. I could see that he had really wanted me to come. I felt guilty, but tried not to let this bother me.

"W-well," I started, mentally cursing myself for not being able to talk without a stutter. "I don't know you. You are the first of, _our _kind that I have met since I was; was--" I was surprised at myself for not having the courage to say it. But he understood and smiled.

"Changed? Well, you must be new. Do you know _when _exactly you were changed?"

"Um, I'm sure the date was August 17th of 2008." Having heard this he exposed the strangest expression on his face. It only appeared for less than a second, but I easily caught it.

"What year is it now?" I asked, trying to calculate how long I could have possibly been out here on my own.

"2021" He stated matter-of-factly. I stared at him trying to remember where the years had gone. Interrupting my mental calculations, he started again. "Would you like to meet my family? I can promise you that we will do nothing to harm you and we will help you by giving you clothes, a shower, and-- if you like-- a place to stay. Assuming you've been here--" he motioned quickly to the general direction of the clearing we had just come from "--for your entire new life, you might like a place to be and a person to talk to." He smiled and all skepticism of him disappeared, I was enticed by his udder being and felt completely comfortable with him.

We walked for a bit longer, faster than earlier of course. After about 20 minutes I started to hear movement. I tensed subconsciously, as if readying myself for an attack. He felt my discomfort and tried to soothe me.

"We're about two miles from my home now. Would you like to hear a bit about our past?"

"Yes, please" I _would _actually feel comfortable knowing more about him.

We continued walking while he spoke. "Well," he began, not really knowing where to start. "When I was 17 the influenza hit and I was going to die. Carlisle, the father figure of our coven, changed me. He is a doctor at the local hospital. After that, he changed Esme, our mother in so many ways. Alice and Jasper-- who are a couple-- met before they met us. But soon after, they found us and joined the family..." I was interested in his loose use of the word family. I had no predictions of what this family could possibly look like. "After that, Rosalie and Emmett joined. They too are together."

We could see the mammoth house in the distance. I stared in awe as we walked towards it. All noise of movement had stopped. What would they think of my arrival? Would I be intruding?

We walked up to the back door and Edward walked in, me trailing behind. We were still hand in hand when we entered the larger room. In it, stood three males and three females. The smaller one ran up to me and seeing her quick approach, I ducked and tried to back towards the door. I knew this was a bad idea! Why did I have to follow the damn boy! I might have just put myself in unnecessary danger! She backed away, obviously hurt. The smallest boy looked over to me with apologetic eyes.

The mid-sized blonde male spoke up then. "I apologize for Alice's behavior." The small boy looked at her with accusing eyes. Well if that is Alice, then that must be Jasper. I'll keep an eye on them. "We're sorry if we've frightened you." I looked down at myself and noticed I was still in a crouched defensive position so I stood up and shot a polite smile to the one who spoke. "My name is Carlisle." Okay, Carlisle then. "This is our coven. We've known you were in the area and decided we should meet. Our family would like to send an open invitation to stay with us. I see that you have been out in the wilderness and thought you might prefer a more, homey atmosphere to the latter." He introduced the smaller boy as Jasper, the largest as Emmett, the blonde as Rosalie, and the larger female as Esme. So, if Edward's descriptions were correct, everyone was here and accounted for. They showed me to the couches to talk a bit more, and I found myself not being able to focus on the conversation, for fear that another of our kind would attack me when I wasn't looking.

I agreed to the invitation to stay with them and went upstairs to shower and change my clothes. They had a spare room that was already furnished with beautiful oak furniture and sleek leather brown couch. I looked into the closet and found it stocked with clothing. I slipped into a pair of jeans and a tight fitting pink shirt that made me feel self-conscious. Surprisingly, they fit perfectly. I thought over the reason for this when I heard a light tap on the door. I crouched again and then heard the visitor huff and open the door a crack.

"You know I'm not going to hurt you." It was the small female. Alice. She was dangerous. "As introduced, my name is Alice." She was in my room now and I felt cornered here, despite the large, fragile glass wall behind me. "I've seen you for many months now. You see, I have the gift to see the future. I've seen you joining our family for some time now. I hope that you can learn to feel safe me and--" she stopped mulling over whether to say what she was thinking or not "--think of me as a sister to you." Wow, sister.

"O-okay. Excuse my behavior from before. I haven't met a civilized member of our species before you, so this is all very new to me."

"Well we would all love to hear your story. Would you like to come downstairs and talk with us?" She quite obviously wanted me to accept, so I did. I mean, if I was living with these people-- even if only for the time being-- they deserve to know a bit about me.

I followed her downstairs and sat next to Edward facing the family. They all seemed very eager to hear about me. I was nervous and I looked down at my feet for a minute. Suddenly I felt ready to start, which startled me, but I began.

"Well, my- my parents were separated when I was very little, and I lived with my mother. In the summer of 2008, I moved here to live with my father. I lived for about a month, and when I went for a hike alone in the woods, I was attacked. I was sure I would be killed, and looking back I probably would have preferred that over--" I stopped not wanting to darken the mood. "I woke up alone and went back toward my home. After ripping the door off of my truck, I ran to my home and found a newspaper article describing my death. I left after that and lived in the woods, miles from civilization for years. I ended up back in that town and from pure blood lust-- this being my first encounter with human blood-- I killed my father. I ran again after that and tried to kill myself, unsuccessfully as you all can see, and after staying in that clearing for another few years, that is when-- Edward-- found me." I sighed, obviously depressed from the quick movie synopsis style retelling of my cruel life.

"We are all very, very sorry." Carlisle said, glumly. "I hope that you can feel comfortable with us. We too have all lost great lives. Now, do you have any questions for us? Anything at all?"

I thought for a minute and nodded my head. "Yes, actually. So very many. Where shall I start? Well, first, Edward here said that you too feed off of animals. How did he know I don't hunt humans?" They all seemed bewildered by my question. I thought it was good. Oh well.

"You really don't know much about your own kind, do you?" Edward spoke now, sympathy flooding his eyes. I shook my head. "Well, when you hunt animals, your eyes are gold-ish, and when you choose the other diet, they are red."

I could only mutter "Oh" and so I decided to continue. "Alice spoke to me earlier and explained that she could see the future. Do anymore of you have a power? Does every one of our, kind, have a power like that?"

Edward spoke again; "No, not all vampires have it. Unusually, three of us here have extraordinary talents. I can hear people's thoughts. But strangely, I cannot hear yours." He seemed distressed by this fact and I internally rejoiced.

"Well, that's two, what about the third?"

Jasper spoke up now. "I can control people's emotions. I can excite or calm or just about any other emotion you can think of. Also, I can feel other people's emotions."

Comprehension washed over me. "Have you used your power on me yet?" I hoped this was my reason for my strange comfort here.

"Yes, but only once. When you sat down and tried to start the story of your past, I could feel how you were very nervous and upset. I just wanted you to feel all right. I hope you aren't too mad at me." He smiled a very apologetic smile and I smiled back.

"That's all right, I just hope that you won't again unless it's truly necessary."

He smiled back and nodded his head.

I sat back and decided that was all. Everyone could tell so we all turned towards our rooms. I shot a glance at Edward asking him to meet me in my room later that night. He seemed to understand my proposition and accepted. I would return to my room and wait for him to come. I needed to talk to him more than anything. But I felt like I couldn't talk to him in front of the others.

I went into my room and closed the door carefully. Sitting down on the couch I felt a sense of comfort and relief. I was actually very glad they had found me. My life out in the woods was not a happy one and I welcomed the new life. I looked up at the sound of another light tap on the door. Edward walked in and sat down.

I stared into his eyes and felt myself drowning on the pools of his irises.

"Hi" he said, slightly embarrassed.

"Hey." I had so many things to ask and say. Where could I possibly start?

A/N: So, what did you think? Let me know! I really want reviews. I'd appreciate it.

Thanks for reading! I'll update soon!

-dsmldejection


	5. Chapter 4

"Why were you the one to find me? Carlisle mentioned that all of you knew I was out there. Why were _you _the one to rescue me?" I knew this wasn't the best question to start with, but I knew it would lead to others.

"I was immediately drawn to you. Although you hadn't known, I watched you. I asked Carlisle if I could step in the minute I set my eyes on you. He just wouldn't let me. We didn't know if you were hostile and they didn't want to start a war. But seeing you I just _knew_ you wouldn't do such a thing. Despite the strange inability to read your thoughts, I could tell you weren't a killer. Just, alone."

In that simple speech I fell in love with him. I knew I couldn't ever be without him. I stared into his eyes and decided I would try to get as much information from him as possible.

"But why? Why would you defy your leader? And for what? A lonely, depressed little maggot?" He flinched at the combination of my rising voice and comparison of myself to vermin.

"You. Are beautiful. How could you ever think of yourself as such horrible things?" As he spoke, he leaned closer to me. "I saw you and I knew--" He stopped not wanting to go on. I hoped I was right about what he wanted to say, but I had to be sure before I continued.

"You knew what, Edward? Please, tell me." I pleaded with him, my eyes glistening with pure need for knowledge.

"-- I love you. I want to be with you forever. I want to kiss you and talk to you and be yours. I want you to have me and I want you to love me. But you don't even know me so how--" He looked down and in doing this, I grabbed his chin and pulled his lips to mine. He seemed startled, to say the very least. I had kept to myself, not speaking unless spoken to and never touching anyone unless perfectly necessary. But when I pressed my lips to his, he understood. We sat like that, pressing ourselves to each other, hoping to close any space that might leak between us, gasping for unneeded air. If I could blush, my cheeks would have been on fire from the heat of the blush behind them. I wrapped my fingers into his beautiful hair and he did the same to me.

At the exact same time, we realized what we were doing. I pulled away first and grabbed his perfect face in my strong hands.

"I love you too. I thought coming here would mean losing my life; and it has. Because now, I've given it to you. And you can have it. I don't have much of anything to give, but what I do possess, I don't want. If it were to mean losing you, I would give it all away without even thinking."

He smiled and my answering smile stunned me. When had I last been happy? I didn't think I had ever really been happy, and certainly not as happy as I was now. As if reading each other's thoughts, we got up in one fluid motion and ran. In seconds we were out the back door and running into the woods. I never looked from his eyes and he did the same.

When we finally stopped, we were in a clearing. Nothing like the clearing I had lived in for those long, lonely years. But this one was beautiful. A work of art in so many different aspects. Though it was well past midnight and the sky held little light, I saw it clearly. It was perfectly round; as if made to be like that, but the surrounding trees and untouched grass showed no sign of any tampering. I could hear a stream dribbling on the distance and I could see the moon perfectly overhead.

We sat down in the center, still hand in hand. I was enjoying the silence, but I could never protest hearing his voice.

"I come here often to think. I usually come around now. Not to be rude, but sounds from the other rooms of the house are hard to live with." We giggled thinking of this and scooted closer unconsciously.

"Also, this was where I would watch you." The direction the conversation had turned startled me. "I would hear you cry sometimes. It took all of the strength I have to keep myself from going to comfort you. I longed to hold you in my arms and let you know it would be all right." He stopped then and I had a question.

Scooting away slightly, I asked the most important and necessary question. "Is Carlisle mad at me?" I was worried to hear the answer, but I knew I needed to know.

"No! Never! Where would you ever come up with that idea?" His outburst startled me but I regained my composure and continued.

"Well, you said he didn't want you to come to me. Is he mad now that you have? Was the invitation to stay with you purely of politeness?"

"You must have misunderstood me. Let me explain. Carlisle is a very... caring man. He would never know that a humane one of our kind was living in the dirt and let them continue that way." I noted his extreme emphasis on 'humane'. He continued without missing a beat. "It's just not his way of life. He wanted me to stay out of your life purely out of love for his family." My expression obviously told him I still wasn't understanding, so he continued. "Carlisle was worried that, in knowing we were here, you would want to fight us for the land. We've encountered beings like that and war is something we know we don't want to be part of."

"Well I can completely understand that. But what is interesting is that, I might have actually started a war. Just so I could. I could..." I wished I hadn't started talking. I knew he would ask me to continue so I asked him for a chance to let me explain myself more thorough.

"I woke up alone, and I had no idea what had happened to me. I was only thinking 'I need to go check on Charlie'. Charlie of course is my father. Or, was, rather. I was finding my new strength and had startled myself on several different accounts. I still hadn't accepted the fact that I was no longer human. I broke down and in a sense, I _was _dead, as every person in my past life has thought. I never thought; I never really lived. At one point, I had forgotten everything from my past life. So when I saw Charlie, I got excited. And when I killed him, I hated myself. Trying to kill myself unsuccessfully darkened my spirits further and I closed down again. So when you found me, I was hoping you could be my savior. You were an angel in my dark night and I thought 'He must be here to help me.' But my view of help was probably different from yours. I wanted you to kill me. I wanted my life to end because I thought I could never feel like myself again until I was dead. But now, I see that I can live happily ever after. Because you _are _my angel." I broke down in dry sobs and he embraced me. I felt so warm there in his arms and I never wanted to leave.

We held each other until dawn. It was one of the unheard of sunny days, so our skin glittered over the grass and trees. When an animal walked over, I couldn't stop myself. I was satiated, but I had never needed to restrain myself. And so I never had. Edward, being the gentleman he is, looked away, knowing I wouldn't want him to see me at my weakest time. He said that his brother, Jasper, had had the same problem. I would talk to him when we returned to... _our_...home.

M/W\M/W\M/W\M/W\

I knocked quietly, still trying to debate whether or not I really should try and talk to him. Alice answered my knock and I silently winced at her arrival. My instincts still told me she was dangerous and I had lived under nothing but my instincts for so long. My human senses had receded to the back of my head. I hoped she could understand that.

She stepped to the side, knowing my reason for being at her room. I saw Jasper sitting on their couch reading a book I hadn't heard of. With my approach he set it on the table and looked up at me, a warm and inviting smile flooding his face. I heard Alice quietly slip out, giving us some privacy. I was glad she had, because I knew I wouldn't be able to focus knowing she was watching me.

"I hope I'm not being rude, but I know that you too went without the need to control your thirst for a long time and as a result of that you have difficulties now. I share your problem and hoped we could try and... help each other out?" He laughed and I felt like an idiot for coming to him like this.

"Well yes, of course. I would love to form some type of bond. I've felt like the odd man out, if you will, for a while here; being the only one of our family that still has trouble. I praise Alice for her patience with me. I know it must be difficult." He smiled and I did too, only mine was more of an awkward half smile than a true smile.

"I know that you all live here together, but what do you do? The boredom must be blinding. How do you entertain yourselves?"

He gestured for me to sit and I did, reluctantly. "Well, in the summer we play the occasional game of baseball. A very interesting sport especially with our enhanced abilities. Both common and not. I do a lot of reading myself and working on my control takes up a bit of my spare time. Otherwise, we attend the local high school."

"How do you do that? Don't you just want to kill everything that comes within a mile of you? Let alone humans a yard away from you!" I was truly stumped. Here we are talking about how we can barely control ourselves, yet now he says they go to high school.

"That is one of my recent steps to getting more controlled. It is difficult for me, but not impossible. I hunt much more often than the others and I make contact as little as possible. Sometimes a human will get too close or the wind will shift the wrong direction and I come close to loosing it. But I haven't yet. I just keep thinking about what it would do to the family if I were to slip up like that and I eventually get myself under control, even if I do have to bail out early."

I looked down at my feet and he saw how incapable I felt.

"I will help you. We all will. I know how Edward feels about you." he smiled and it took me a minute to realize what he was inferring. "There's no way he would leave you, even if you did slip up. We would move; start over. It's happened before. Alice has seen you together for a long time now and rarely do we ever bet against Alice." He smiled, as did I. But this time it was different. I felt comfortable this time. Alice popped in then with Rosalie in tow.

"Now," they said, truly eager for something. I had the slightest feeling it couldn't work out well for me. "Time to play! We are going to give you a full make over! Make up, clothes, hair, everything!" I was reluctant to end our conversation, but I wanted to try and patch things up with Alice. She was at my side in a second and she pulled me into her bathroom. It was huge. Mine had been large, but Alice's had mirrors everywhere, a huge closet behind us and worst of all, the counters were covered with all types of products. She forced me into a chair and I stood again, my animal instincts showing themselves again. She just shook her head and said "Sit!" I did and they went to work.

They "played" with me for an hour, sloshing unidentified products into my hair and onto my face. I tried to force myself out of the room every once and a while, but Alice would, without looking from what she was doing, snarl playfully under her breath and I would sit. Sometimes Rosalie would flash me a pained look and I would nod letting her know I wasn't mad at her. After that I roamed the house and found Edward sitting in his room. I went over and sat next to him.

A/N: Alright, so this is where I'm leaving it. (I've recently become obsessed with ending chapters at the start of conversations.) I am going out to dinner (holding everything up to post this so be grateful) and when I get back I'm gonna work on chapter five. I got another round of minimal reviews, but I don't want to make anyone mad, and I want to show those of you who did review, that I love you and appreciate you. Thanks to all of my readers, more might be up later tonight.

-dsmldejection


	6. A quick question

A/N: Please note this is serious. I'm not kidding. Please respond.

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— -

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— - This totally sucks...

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— -

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I can't decide whether or not to continue this stupid thing. I get barely any reviews. I've got a lot on my plate right now. I don't know if I know where to go with it. I want to know what you guys think. You all rock because you review and I love you for that. I need reviews. My negative thinking leads me to believe that this story stinks if you don't review. I'm even lowering my standards here. Just tell me to continue for god's sake! Something! Alright, so the real business I'm wasting my time is...

DO I CONTINUE OR NOT? LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Send me reviews. Something. Private message me. Anything. I'm not going to never update. It will just be a while. Once school is over. Once I get inspiration. Once my life isn't hectic. I want to know. I get hits, so I know SOMEBODY is out there. So let me know.

NOTE: If I don't get any or little response, I WILL take that as a sign I shouldn't continue

Also, if you think you've got some amazing idea for this story, sure, let me know. I would be interested to hear if anyone's got any kind of hypothesis. Now let me stop right here and tell you:

THAT WAS NOT A CRY OF HELP FOR STUFF TO WRITE ABOUT!

I think it's trailer trash if you've got the guts to post a story, go three chapters, and then ask for help. I do, in fact, have a plan for this story. Just writers block as to writing it down. So I've not hit rock bottom...

Thank you in advance for the feed back. Don't worry, there will be personal thanks to those who do write.

-dsmldejection


	7. Chapter 5

I looked at him and he chuckled. A questioning look covered my face. His eyes moved about the full area of my face, ending at my eyes. Then I remembered. I was covered in make up that I had yet to actually see. Stupid vampires obsessed with making everything look pretty. Edward laughed at my sudden comprehension of what was funny to him and I laughed along. If I could blush I would have been as red as a cherry.

"It looks ridiculous, doesn't it? I'll go take it off now. I'll be back in a min--" When I leaned to get up from the couch, he cut me off with a slight peck on the lips. It was short, but still wonderful all the same. Kind of bitter-sweet, in a way.

Pulling away, his eyes melted into mine. "I think you look wonderful. I hope you won't take it off." He smiled, his eyes pleading to do as he wished. I looked away, clearly embarrassed of his compliments. "You are so beautiful. I love you so much." We kissed and my fingertips grazed over his back, feeling his tense muscles and spine.

He looked into my eyes again and frowned. "You need to hunt. Do you want to go now? I'll keep you company."

"Yes, please. I'd hate to be away from you." He smiled and walked with me, hand in hand, toward the back door. We walked at a slow pace for about a mile. I felt the tickle in the back of my neck and braced myself for the loss of control. When it came, once again, Edward looked away. When I finished, he was gone, probably off hunting himself. I walked a bit farther and came across him, sauntering towards me. I smiled and spoke.

"I'm sorry I have such little control around blood. I've never had to stop myself, so I, I just can't." I looked down, embarrassed for my weakness. I looked up to see him leaning towards me for a hug. I embraced him and he whispered in my ear. "I will help you. You _can _control yourself. You just need to work on it a while."

We continued to walk through the forest, sometimes talking and other times, just enjoying each other's presence. He would ask me questions sometimes that seemed silly, but my answers always intrigued him.

"What's your favorite color?" He would watch me carefully, for reasons I wasn't aware of.

"Brown. It's warm. Inviting. Comforting." He smiled as if the answer was that of one of life's greatest mysteries. But most of the time, we just walked. Not talking, or looking at each other. Just, walking. We were trying to build my control, as far as I could tell.

An animal would scurry by, and Edward would whisper "Control yourself." or "You don't really need it, you just want it." Every time I would pounce, draining what ever poor animal would pass, and I would feel horrible. Another unnecessary death to add to my already flooded conscience. But no matter how horrible I felt, Edward would always make me feel okay. He would kiss me and tell me it was alright. He would comfort me and make me feel like I wasn't a killer, even though we both knew I was.

When dusk came, we turned and walked back to the house. I could hear Emmett and Jasper playing video games inside. Rosalie was in the garage working on her car. Alice was at her laptop in her room, probably buying more clothes. Carlisle and Esme were in their room, talking in a hushed tone to each other. When we walked in, Edward and I made our way to the living room. Emmett sat on one end of the couch, practically standing from the torture of getting beaten by Jasper. Jasper sat calmly on the other side, laughing and yelling out playful banter to his opponent. Edward pulled me to stand behind the couch and watch. I looked to Jasper and he smiled, expressing his comfort with me since our conversation earlier this morning.

When the game was over, Edward and I walked hand in hand up the staircase. We turned toward Edward's room, but Alice caught us. "Bella, come look at this darling dress I found on the internet! It would look so beautiful on you!" Edward growled a bit under his breath, knowing that was one of the _last _things I wanted to do. I gave him a look letting him know it was alright, and let Alice drag me into her room. She showed me a dress that was dark brown, with an open neck area but wasn't too revealing. It was gathered close to the abdomen and flowed down into a bottom that would reach to just above my knees. I told her I liked it and escaped, finding Edward waiting outside his doorway.

"You know you didn't have to do that. She has to be told no every once and a while." I laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I still feel bad for treating her the way I did. I guess I'm just trying to make up for it." I smiled and he returned one. I pushed up onto the tips of my toes and kissed him. He pulled me into his room and sat me down on his couch. He turned on a massive stereo and turned the classical music down low, making it purely back round music. He came and sat next to me, intertwining our fingers and I leaned my head on his shoulder. We sat like that all night. We listened to each other's unnecessary breaths and the music.

When dawn came, we left for another walk. It wasn't as long as the day before had been. Maybe four or five hours at the most. We talked again, still about things that seemed insignificant to me. He still tried to keep me from killing things. And near the end of the trip when I was full, I almost did. Almost. He said we would try again tomorrow and we turned back toward home. When we walked in, everybody was talking in the family room, obviously waiting for us.

Alice, naturally, was at my side and I somehow managed to not swat at her. "We're going to play baseball! You have to come! We're going to have so much fun!" She was bouncing now and I looked at her like she was crazy. Everyone laughed at my reaction to her and Alice frowned, walking back to Jasper's side.

"I, I've never played. I rarely even watch it." I was trying to form good excuses in my head so I wouldn't be forced to play. I could tell it was no use. Emmett laughed and walked over to my side, ruffling my hair when he was close enough.

"You'll be fine! Anyway, you'll be on my team. We'll kick ass."

"Uh, okay, I guess." I was still unsure, but I figured I should give it a shot.

We all walked back outside and I waited for everyone else to leave. Except for Edward, of course. We brought up the back and I followed, still nervous about playing. Sports had never been my calling. When you're prone to falling from... nothing, you learn to stay away from sports, especially when they stick a large metal bat in your hands.

When we reached the clearing, I was placed on a team with Emmett, Edward, and Alice. We were at bat first, and Rosalie and Jasper were in the outfield, Carlisle at the pitcher's mound. Esme sat on a log at the side, the referee of the game, I figured.

I was forced to bat first, of course. Edward showed me how to hold the mammoth thing, and Carlisle made sure I was ready before he threw the ball.

With a quick nod, he threw the ball and at what seemed like the right moment, I tried to swing. My eyes were shut so I didn't actually see it happen. As everyone told me, I hit it dead on. All I know, is that once I finally brought the bat all the way around my body, I fell over. But apparently, the ball went far enough that nobody could catch it. It hit the ground a few miles away and the game continued. Every time after that when I was up to bat, I tried to keep my eyes open. Almost every time I hit the ball pretty well, except for one time where the wind shifted and my mind forced me to run after a grizzly in the area. Upon returning, I was too embarrassed to look anyone in the eyes. I tried to sit out, but Emmett wouldn't have that.

At one point, we moved out to the outfield, letting Jasper, Carlisle, and Rose have a chance to hit. I was placed at the pitcher's mound to try and pitch, but we found quickly that I stink. That, may I say, is an understatement. For example, I nearly smacked Carlisle in the head with the ball. Luckily, he saw it coming and snatched it out of the air before I gave him a dent in the middle of his forehead. My apologizing, at one point, became annoying to even myself.

After a few hours of playing, our team won by a score that I don't remember. The numbers were so large compared to any human's play that I couldn't have kept track of them even if I had really wanted to. Or tried. We ran back to the house and Edward and I were at the front this time. We raced each other back to the yard. I pounced on him when he was about 20 feet from the clearing. _He_ claims I cheated. Me-- and to be frank everyone else-- said otherwise. At any rate, I beat him to the door by an inch. His arms were wrapped lovingly around my waist, so I said it was a tie.

We sat in his room all night for the millionth time. I really didn't spend any time in my own room at all. Just when I wanted to change or take a shower. We lounged in the couch and looked at the stars, enjoying each other's company. He played with my hair a lot, twirling it around his ring finger and then smoothing it out again. The fact that he wrapped my hair around his ring finger made me wonder if he was planning anything. I pushed the thought out of my head, not wanting to excite myself.

The next morning we got out of his room a lot slower. Mostly we were in there listening for everyone else to get up. Carlisle left early to the hospital; an emergency calling in any available doctors. Esme went to the side of the house and tended her garden a bit. Alice and Jasper went into town to window shop, most likely coming back with a few hundred bags of clothed by noon. Rosalie went in her own car into town as well, getting a few car parts and meeting up with Alice and Jasper later to do a bit of shopping herself. Emmett tagged along with Rosalie.

So we had the house to ourselves again. We decided we would continue our tradition of going for a walk.

Stepping out of the house I walked off into a different direction, back towards our clearing. I tugged him along and he came without a fight, willing to be wherever I was, I figured.

We walked and once again, at the end I nearly ignored a possum. Still, I pounced and ended it's life. But I was determined to get better.

Our walked continued every day. Sometimes, another member of the family would tag along. But mostly, we were by ourselves. They respected the fact that this experience was one I only wanted to share with Edward. We would walk usually from dawn till dusk. We would return home early for baseball games and other family gatherings.

And I was happy. Happy to be with the Cullens. Happy to _be a Cullen. Happy to not be alone. And more importantly, happy to be with Edward._


	8. Chapter 6

"You're thirsty."

I looked into Edward's eyes and frowned. I hadn't hunted for about three days now. Still, despite the unthinkably short amount of time, my eyes had turned to an eerie shade of black. With a huff I stood up from Edward's lap and headed towards the door. He followed me, clearly aware of my extreme frustration.

"What's wrong, hun?" he asked with a worry filled look in his eyes.

"I've been practicing for months now and I still have to hunt every few days! I'm never going to get a handle on this thing!" I threw my hands up in the air. "I guess I'm never going to see anybody outside of this god forsaken family." Once saying that I was sorry I said anything at all. I could see that it hurt him. He, of course, thought that he didn't deserve me, so my actions had merely fueled his ridiculousness.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You know I didn't mean that. I love you guys so much and I can't believe fate let you stumble across me." He smiled and I kissed him. "It's just so... maddening that I can't seem to get my thirst under control." I frowned and laid my head on his shoulder. He rubbed soothing circles into my lower back.

"It's alright, love. You can do this. We've practiced every day and I believe in you. We all do. Now, lets not put it off any longer. You need to hunt." I looked at him and nodded, turning back towards the stairway.

Alice joined us today. She needed to hunt as well. Also, I could tell she was longing to do something with me. Since my coming I had been restlessly working on my control, so that left me with little time to spare. She smiled with my offer to join us and ran out the door.

We walked for a few miles. Alice was to my right, while Edward-- whom I was gleefully holding hands with-- was on my left. We stayed quiet while Alice described outfits and shoes that she had discovered on one of her many favorite shopping sites. I could tell the thing she wanted to do most was to bring me to an actual store. But we all knew it just wasn't in the cards at the moment, so nobody mentioned it. I smiled and listened without argument. Edward, having seen them in Alice's mind, would let me know if he thought I would like it. I would nod and agree to try some things on when we returned later today.

At one point, I left Edward and Alice to do a bit of hunting. Edward did a quick brush up while Alice did some hunting of her own. She would later brag to me about her skills at confusing the black bear she came across.

For myself, I cornered a pack of mountain lions out for a search for food themselves. After finishing off the last, I buried the carcasses and started my search for my beloved. I would let Alice find me, a precaution for if she wasn't yet finished with her meal. I walked for a few hundred feet and smelled a bear. This would be a perfect chance to work on my control once more. The wind shifted and I calculated in my head.

Three-hundred feet or so to my left. I felt myself slipping as I started walking again. I stopped breathing and walked straight, hoping it wasn't headed for me. I started running after a few feet and closed my eyes, picturing Edward and my family.

"I can do this. Just keep running. I don't need it. Control. Control." I couldn't do it. I wasn't going to make it. I could picture myself slaughtering it. No. I can't. That will only make me want it more. My eyes were still closed; not breathing one single breath.

And I didn't smell it anymore. I smiled and opened my eyes. I saw Edward there and I tried to stop. Unfortunately for him, I had been running way too fast to stop so abruptly. I smashed into him, sending us both flying about five yards behind him.

"What's wrong. Why are you running?" He was looking me over, checking for wounds that would never appear.

"I did it, Edward." I was holding his hands now, smiling widely while he was still completely clueless.

"What, Bella? What did you do?" He was smiling now too, realizing whatever had happened was good.

I stood up, pulling him with me. "I was hunting. And when I finished, I started looking for you. And I smelled it. God, it smelled so good. Grizzly, I figure. But I didn't lose it. I just stopped breathing and thought of you" he smiled in hearing this "and I didn't lose control." I wrapped him into a hug that would have crushed anything and he hugged me back.

"Well done! I'm so happy. Lets go tell the family. Now, where's Alice?" I shrugged and he smiled.

"Wha--" I was cut off by someone pouncing on me from the side. Once landed, I jumped up and crouched, snarling and cursing.

"Jeez, Bella. Relax." It was Alice, of course.

"Uhm, sorry." I stood up and she toppled me over again, this time hugging me.

"I'm so excited! Congratulations, Bella! I'm so glad you finally overcame it! Wait 'til we tell Jasper! He will be so proud. Come on! Lets go!" She grabbed me by the wrist and ran, while Edward-- laughing so hard he could barely run-- followed behind us.

A/N: Yaaay! Filler chapters! Dang, I hate these things. But, I had to do it. I'm kinda between a rock and a hard place with this story. So... this is my recovery. Okay, recovery is definitely the wrong word. Umm, this is the chapter while I think really, really hard about what to do next. I promise there's more story and it will include Bella and high school. Now, lately (and in the future) there's like, months or weeks or what ever going by. I know, I know, I'm not explaining anything that happened then. But this story would be nothing but filler chapters if I did. Because as I say in the one or two paragraphs describing the months, it's like, only hunting and the occasional baseball game every day. Nothing interesting to read about. So, if you think about it, you'd probably rather read about Bella struggling with high school than her hunting every day. If you don't, you shouldn't read this. XD

Thanks,

dsmldejection

ps: reviews are loved and responded to!


	9. Myspace Ad

A/N: To start off, this has nothing to do with this story. I just wanted to make an update and didn't want to make it on the top or bottom of the next chapter...

I have recently been at work on something other than writing. I know, I know, why must I waste my time on things other than writing? Could it possibly be so important as to prolong our future reading material??

Yes. Yes it is.

I've been to work on two things. First, which I started at about midnight 6/7/08, is a myspace. This myspace is devoted to the Twilight series, movie, and both my and socialxxhazard's fanfiction. I think for something that's only lived for about 18 hours or so, it's pretty dang cool. I hope that you will all check it out. Add us if you have a myspace. Message us letting us know what you like. Anything! I just think you should look at it. I wouldn't want all of my hard work to go to waste! (So NOT grovelling now)

The url is (of course starting with myspace...):

/twilightfantiction

Easy to remember, right? God, I hope so.

Also, I've thought of another possible story. Here's all I got so far:

Bella actually goes to college as a human with Edward.

There's the usual college stuff, blah blah blah.

Then, something happens. Not telling you in case I do continue it.

School is stressful enough, grouped with trying to study for an exam, for example, while the beautiful and amazing Edward Cullen is smelling you and twirling your hair...

And you can choose! Two things actually...

She will have to be changed, indefinitely. During the first year? At the end of the first year? Your choice.

And, of course, I want you to tell me whether or not I should start it in the first place.

Please, let me know. I'll accept reviews who are and aren't anonymous and private messages, messages on the instant messenger and myspace messages. Anything, just let me know. And so that the story isn't completely spoiled, I won't let you know what decision won unless you verbally get on your knees and beg me.

Let me know!

Thanks,

dsmldejection

ps: I promise I will update soon, and I apologize to those of you who saw I updated and were tricked into reading this piece of crap. (Teeheehee)


	10. Chapter 7

My control grew stronger every day. Our only guess was that my sudden belief in myself was what helped me the most. After another month of practice, I was able to go just as long as Jasper was without hunting and could be near humans without an overly overwhelming need to drink them.

The first try was of course, very difficult. I left for a walk about an hour after sunrise, Edward and Emmett flanking me on the left and right. We walked about 50 feet from a sidewalk heavily populated with humans. I was forced to hold my breath at first, and ended up turning back in defeat two hours later. But the next day it was a lot less difficult. Over the next month or so I worked my way from 50 feet from the sidewalk to actually walking the streets like any other normal person. And within the last week Alice had joyfully tortured me with shopping day in and day out at every store she came across. I knew it was the thing she wanted most, so I rarely complained. Rarely.

Surprisingly enough, Alice was freeing me from shopping today. I welcomed it as a final day to spend alone with Edward. The coming Monday, the Cullen children would be attending Forks High. This would mean I would have eight solid hours of doing nothing everyday, what with Carlisle being at the hospital and Esme doing her little motherly tasks. I thought of all of this while sitting in the front room. Emmett and Jasper were playing a video game I didn't care to identify and Edward sat with me on the love seat, unconsciously rubbing soothing circles into my palm.

Alice appeared in the doorway joining the kitchen and family room along side Carlisle and Esme. She flashed a smile in my direction and I-- half-heartedly-- returned one to her. Everyone else looked up as well, Rosalie appearing on the other side of the room, having come from the garage most likely.

"We're going hunting. We'll need to be our best for Monday." Alice smiled throwing me a glance that confused me thoroughly.

Everyone headed to the door, all except Edward and I. "You should hunt too." He said noticing my presumably darkening eyes.

I agreed, not willing to turn down any time to spend with him. We followed the rest of the family and hunted in our own little party. We both had our fill and returned back in the direction of the house. I was full and once again agreed. When we were about a mile from the house, Edward slowed and I mimicked him, wondering where the need for speed had gone. Now we were walking, and I could feel Edward staring a hole into the side of my head. When I looked to him, he stopped to face me, grabbing my hands and leaning towards me.

"I have a surprise for you." He whispered into my ear, tauntingly. I felt his cool breath on my neck and leaned forward in shear lust. He pulled away and I smiled. He turned back towards the house, shooting out in front of me. I chased him and we arrived in no time to the large white house. Edward pulled me inside where all the Cullens were waiting our arrival.

He sat me down on the couch and I waited, not so patiently for him to reveal my surprise. Esme sat down by me and smiled, grabbing my hands and whispered,

"We've enrolled you in high school as well." I stared at her in disbelief, trying to read her expression. I started laughing, looking like a loon in front of my entire family. I looked at everyone's face and quieted.

"You... you're serious aren't you?" I looked to Edward and he nodded. I lightly pulled my hands from Esme's grasp and smiled at everyone-- before running into the room I shared with Edward and locking myself in. Edward was the first to arrive at the door as I slammed it shut in his face.

"Bella, what's wrong? Don't you want to go?" He was speaking to me like I was six.

"Well _yeah _but, but... I'm going to _kill_ people, Edward! There's no way I'm ready!" I was unnecessarily yelling now. I knew everyone could hear me more than normally well, but I couldn't calm myself down enough to speak in a rational tone or volume.

"Isabella Cullen," he said my beloved name with such intensity that I couldn't help from smiling, "you are _not_ going to kill anybody. Haven't you seen yourself these past weeks? You're amazing. I can't believe how in control you are!" I could picture him with my favorite smile covering his face. I opened the door to find him staring back at me with an expression just as I had imagined.

"OK." He smiled but I gave him a look and continued. "But are my classes with yours, at least?" Edward nodded and at the same time a booming laugh I could only ever identify as Emmett's rang through the house. I appeared at Emmett's side with an ominous look that could make small children cringe, attacking his laughter until it smoothly died and he walked away. I heard him mumble as he walked , "--can't have _any _fun in this house." I picked up a fake apple from the dish on the coffee table and chucked it at his head. He turned to look at me and I burst out laughing. He rubbed the back of his head and walked up the stairs to his room.

I spent the next day-- Sunday-- shopping for suitable school clothes with Alice. My fear for the day to come thickly blanketed my annoyance in being forced to shop at... Alice- point.

* * *

I looked out the window and saw the sun begin to rise in the distance. I sucked in an unneeded breath and stood from the couch. I walked the hall over to Alice's room so that she could have her way with me. Despite her speed, it would take her the time to be her usual detail oriented self. After an hour Edward knocked lightly on the doorframe and walked in. Jasper was nearly being sucked into the huge closet Alice had somehow managed to obtain in search of the match to his sneaker. I turned from Alice and pleaded with him in my mind to free me. It was for no use, however. These were the times I wish he _could_ read my thoughts. Somehow he got my message and started playfully arguing with Alice to let me go get dressed.

"I'm almost done! Now butt out, you!" She would whine repeatedly. I would laugh and she would yell for me to sit still. It was a vicious circle that ended up with Alice losing hope and setting me free. I ran faster than necessary to our room and went to get dressed. Alice had laid something out, of course.

Within the hour, we were in Edward's car and heading to Forks High School, where I had gone all those years ago. Alice and Jasper joined us and Rose and Emmett took the BMW, which obviously excited Rosalie. The entire ride I debated throwing myself out the door and running until I was out of the country. As soon as I decided on it, Alice reached from the back seat and locked my door, giving me a glare that said 'You are not ruining that outfit. I can see the stains you plan on causing and it is _not_ going to happen, missy.' Edward just chuckled and I sat back in my seat and pouted.

When we pulled into the parking lot, I felt a rush of smells engulf my senses. The only one I took notice to was the blood all around me. Edward smiled at me, got out, and walked around to open my door. I stepped out and cowered at Edward's side. Students rushed passed me in the morning rush of a new year. Some smiled at me and I flashed answering smiles but tried to keep a distance. When we walked towards the main building, I separated from Edward by a foot or so. I was feeling okay, despite the smells taunting me. I looked to Edward and he nodded, smiling an encouraging smile. I looked worried but nodded. Turning back, I ran head on into a senior. He was a medium build, nothing compared to Emmett. I hissed vehemently and looked into his eyes. I briefly saw my reflection and gasped at the dark color of my eyes. The stress was burning my cover off quickly, making me thirsty.

Edward apologized for me and pulled me away. I returned to cowering by his side and went to class. Edward took care of getting my schedule so I wouldn't have to test myself further. We sat in the back in every class and Edward kept everyone away from me. I picked at my food just as the others did at lunch. I was surprised at how pizza had been a favorite of mine and now it just disgusted me. We continued our day, finishing the last few classes as I gripped tightly to the thought of the day being over. Jasper shared a few classes with us, in which he would calm me while quizzing me on how I was feeling. It was extremely annoying, but I knew he was just trying to help, so I didn't complain.

By the end of the day it took me all of my strength to not lure someone into the shadows. I nearly ran full on to the Volvo, catching a questioning stare from every person I passed. Edward came to meet me first, followed by Alice with Jasper in toe. They all apologized for my bad day and I just shook my head and asked to go home.

The ride home was depressing and I could tell everyone was looking at me. I tried to ignore it, but then I felt the calming waves and I lost it. I looked around the road and saw nobody near us except for Rosalie and Emmett behind us. I looked back towards Alice and I saw she wasn't going to give me trouble. I jumped out into the crisp night air and darted into the woods. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I waited a second to make sure nobody was following me.

After running for about an hour, presumably in circles, I stepped out into a clearing. I looked down and saw gravestones littering the ground. I found a grave for Charlie. He had "gone missing" and was never found. I knew the truth. Next to his, I found my gravestone, also empty beneath the dirt. Seeing the roses left by my friends and family led me to sink to my knees and sob. I wasn't sure exactly how long I went like that, but it was more than two hours. Edward stepped out of the woods and found me in a heap on the ground. He kissed me and helped me up.

"I'm so sorry." He said. I had no idea why he was apologizing.

"It's just all come down on me now. I had everything under control before, but the day today and the fact the I should happen upon here," I waved my hand out to the area around me "it just brought it all out again. I'm sorry for acting like this. I really should be over it." I frowned at him and he smiled.

"It's only natural, Bella. And school will get better. I promise. It was this hard for everyone when they started out. You'll be okay. Now, let's go home. Alice would like to have a word with you." I shuddered and he laughed.

"I love you, Edward." He smiled and leaned down to kiss me.

"I love you too, Bella." We walked towards our home, hand in hand, enjoying each other's company.

**The End**

A/N: I know, but let me explain. I feel like I can only write a story well when I'm really into it. I'm just... not. So, this is where I must end it. I will be starting a few more shorties, but I'm leaving for six days soon to Cali to visit my aunt insert retarded happy dance here.

I apologize and I'm sorry to let you down. I have to admit it doesn't feel too good to me either. Who knows? I might think of somewhere new to talk Forlorn and pick it up again. I am never at a loss for something to write.

I love you guys so much and I really, really hope I can carry some of you from here to another story. I'd love to hear from all of you again. You're like penpals.

ILY, dsmldejection


	11. Author's Note!

**A/N:**

Hey guys, it's your favorite writer dsmldejection here again! I know, that was a little big headed, but I figure I deserve a little schmoozing seeing as I'm here updating.

The important news is, I'm going to start working on another work! It's probably going to be the one who is advertized on the poll on my page!

Obviously, the story will have to develop in a chapter or two before the actual problems talked about arise, so you still have a chance to get in a vote! So far, losing her sense of smell is winning, and I'm very happy about that. I'd love to do something so... so interestingly unique in my mind.

So go vote! I'll take down the poll once it comes time that I have to write that part.

Put me on author alert if you already haven't! That's the only way you'll see when I come out with a new story!

Hope to see you at the new story!

-dsmldejection


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